


Sunday Morning

by 50past12 (desertqueeeen)



Category: KinKi Kids
Genre: Angst, Dark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Song Inspired, Song Lyrics, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 19:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14315904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desertqueeeen/pseuds/50past12
Summary: Tsuyoshi can't love himself.





	Sunday Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Written back in 2009, originally posted [here](https://50past12.livejournal.com/4002.html).  
> Inspired on Tsuyoshi's song "Sunday Morning".

It was raining on Sunday morning.

Most of the people would hate that but he was different. He liked the rain. He liked the sound of the rain. The rain inspired him.

But not today.

That day he was inspired in a different way.

 

It was raining on Sunday morning.

The rain drops drew blurry patterns on the window. Just like the tears blurred his vision.

 

It was raining on Sunday morning.

The sound of the rain falling outside was covered by the sound of the shower.

The bathroom was filled with steam and the sound of water splashing on the floor.

He was sitting in the bathtub fully dressed, water till his chin. His right arm was hanging out, holding firmly the sharp object.

 

It was raining on Sunday morning.

The phone rang but he did not answer. He could not hear it anymore; his mind was blank and he felt dizzy because the heat there.

"I cannot love myself." he said in an inaudible voice.

 

It was raining on Sunday morning.

The rain represented him; cold and helpless.

"I cannot love tomorrow." he said to himself.

The door opened and someone came inside his apartment. Someone was calling his name but he could not hear; he just felt the razor blade breaking his skin.

"Tsuyoshi! What are you doing!"

Koichi took the object from his hand and threw on the floor. Koichi pulled him out the bathtub and hugged him tightly.

 

It was raining on Sunday morning.

The shiny jewel was wetting the city.

Koichi changed his soaked clothes and rolled a gauze on his sore wrist.

"It will heal soon. The cut wasn't that deep." Koichi said drying Tsuyoshi's hair "...So, why did you do that?"

He was crying in silence. They heard only the rain falling outside and the towel rubbing Tsuyoshi's damp hair.

"I want to love, but I can't..." he sniffed "I cannot see tomorrow."

Koichi held him once again with shaking hands.

"Nobody knows about tomorrow. You don't have to worry about it. Just think about the present, what you are living right now."

"What if I can't love what I am right now?" he looked to Koichi's eyes for the first time that day.

"What are you talking about?" Koichi tangled his hand in Tsuyoshi's hair.

He wanted to disappear. Nothing felt right.

He stayed in silence embraced by the older singer.

 

It was raining on Sunday morning.

The tears did not stop falling from his eyes.

"Look," Koichi finally broke the silence "you don't need to force yourself. If you can't love, just feel it. A lot of people will miss you if you die. Your family, your friends, fans. What would Johnny-san do if he discovered you were dead? What would I do?" he caressed Tsuyoshi's back "So feel the people loving you."

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"I can't understand myself, Koichi. I can't love but after all I want to love at the same time... I-" he felt Koichi tightening his grip on his body.

"It's okay... You don't need to understand. Just let us love you." he said before kiss Tsuyoshi's forehead.

 

_It is raining on Sunday morning._  
_After all, I want to love myself._  
_After all, I want to love tomorrow._  
_After all, I want to love you._

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't explicit their relationship here, but it can be read as Koichi and Tsuyoshi being friends or lovers. Both interpretations are fine.


End file.
